


Last Dance

by katirindesu



Category: L'Arc~en~Ciel, ONE OK ROCK
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Crossover, Explicit Language, Japanese Bands, M/M, Mentioned Other Jrock/Visual Kei Artist(s), RPF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:42:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23490040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katirindesu/pseuds/katirindesu
Summary: Hyde, one of the most successful solo artists suddenly cancelled his world tour while in Europe. The artist's management refused to speak about the details. What could they be hiding from the public?One of Japan's most celebrated couple, Toru and Taka have publicly announced their break up. The five-year relationship ended with what seemed like a mutual decision but for Toru, it was more of Taka's selfishness. But is he willing to win Taka over or should he let him finally go?
Relationships: Hyde/Ken (L'Arc~en~Ciel), Morita Takahiro/Yamashita Toru
Kudos: 2





	1. Blurry Eyes

Ken was having his breakfast when his phone buzzed. He didn’t pick it up. He’s not fond of checking his phone early in the morning especially when he’s enjoying a good breakfast. The phone buzzed again, he ignored it. It buzzed for the third time and he finally picked it up groaning.

“What must be happening?” He asked more in annoyance than curiosity.

“Have you seen the news?”

It was a message from his personal assistant, Messy.

“What news?” He thought.

He checked the other messages; all are from Tetsuya. He jumped off from his seat and dialled Tetsuya’s number.

“Ken-san,” The man finally answered after a few rings.

“What do you mean he’s no longer doing the tour?” He asked in frustration and disbelief.

“And here I thought you might have the answer to that,” Tetsuya responded on the other end surprised to hear that Ken has no idea what’s going on.

“Have you been talking to him recently?” He asked.

“No,” Ken answered flatly.

“The last time I talked to him was a week ago. And he hasn’t responded to any of my messages since then.” He felt like adding this information when Tetsuya fell silent for a few moments.

“Could you try to contact him?” Tetsuya asked.

“We can’t reach him. Even I, the loving manager could not reach that bastard!” He finally said. His anger growing by the minute.

“I’ll see what I can do. Honestly, I think I’ll be as hopeless as you are,” Ken answered being honest more to himself than to Tetsuya.

“Well then. Please update me,” The other frustrated man replied. He has no idea what’s been going on between the two but he’s certainly surprised to hear Ken’s confused and sad voice. Did something happen? Did they break up? That’s impossible. So, why did he simply take off without a word --without a single soul knowing? His thoughts raced as he cut the line down to dial another number. He’s going to be facing everyone alone. The fans, the organizers, the media, and most importantly, the boss.

“I don’t think this will be good news for Boss Y.” He said loudly as his staff turned to face him. All looking anxious and tired.

“Hyde Suspends his World Tour!” The headline of Japan Now announced.

“The artist’s management issued this statement an hour ago saying that they’ve encountered some problems.”

What problem would that be? Toru wondered as he read the news on his iPad. Hyde has done tons of tours around the globe and has never cancelled or suspended any of them. There was only this one incident during a music festival in the US but it has been years ago. It wasn’t also because of “some problems”. It was because of a hurricane which was beyond Hyde and his management’s control. Toru vividly remembered how they received this news from Hyde’s Twitter update. Taka had immediately called him to show support and provide a bit of comfort. Toru has also talked to him and did the same thing.

Taka. Where is he now? He wondered. He hasn’t updated any of his social media accounts since they broke up two weeks ago. Toru can still feel the pain striking in his chest.

“I want to find myself.” He had told him.

“Find myself!” He repeated the words with anger.

Five years later, Taka has called the relationship off telling him a foolish reason. Does that mean he hasn’t been himself the past few years? Or maybe the whole time they’ve been together? He’s still confused. He put the iPad down on his lap. He thought he would have crashed the device in half if he didn’t notice his anger building up.

He got up in bed and went straight to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

“You will get through this,” He tried cheering himself up.


	2. One Way Ticket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Taka: Do I really need this? How much longer can I do this? 
> 
> -Hyde: I'm sorry. I really am.

Taka woke up to the sounds of his neighbourhood. He reached for the clock from the bedside table. “Six,” He whispered.

As early as six in the morning the noise in the neighbourhood just keeps getting worse every day. A woman yelling something he couldn’t understand. There’s a kid crying nearby. She sounds like she’s going to cut her throat any time. The sound of pans being thrown away? Or being used? He could hardly tell. Doors opening, then closing. Local news on the television, and loud local music playing on the radio. All these became apparent as he tried to get back to sleep.

He’s been in this place for a week now. He could have chosen a good hotel in the central area but he opted for this apartment he saw on Airbnb just so he could hide from the people who might recognize him.

The child’s cry became worse than before. “This doesn’t sound good,” He murmured as he got up from the bed and made his way to the door. Opening the door, he found the kid sitting in front of his apartment door. “Hey,” He said softly in his sleepy voice. The kid turned to see him and stopped crying.

“Where are your parents?” He asked as he opened the screen door- an extra door which according to the host is placed for theft and mosquito protection. He found this amusing at first, especially that this isn’t something that’s common in his own country or anywhere he’s been to before.

The kid stood up and walked to the next door. She knocked lightly and called her mother. No answer. She tried again louder this time but still the door didn’t move.

 _They left their child outside?_ He thought, confused. The child started crying again, calling her parents.

“Ma! Pa!” She cried.

Taka moved closer to the girl and saw that the main door inside is wide open. The television is turned on, but the volume isn’t loud enough to distract other noises or sounds. He looked past the small living room to the kitchen where he saw a woman. He knocked lightly on the screen door, “Ma’am?” He called. “I think your daughter is outside.”

The woman walked towards the door and opened it without smiling. “Thank you,” Taka then said after the kid got inside. The woman turned away without saying a word.

This is a weird neighbourhood. But it’s the only weird neighbour he knows. He hasn’t encountered the others aside from the old man living on the opposite door and the other two young guys downstairs whom he met two days ago.

When he first arrived in this place, it was the old man who greeted him first with a smile. And when he knew that he doesn’t speak the local language tried his very best to talk to him in his broken English.

“You,” He started. “knock here to help,” He said in his thick accented broken English. Taka understood this right away as an offer to simply call him if ever he needs any help. And every day since then, he’d ask him for directions to the nearest grocery store or a place where he could explore the city. Yesterday he was out with Pete and Ae, the university boys living downstairs. They went to visit a temple nearby and explore the place.

“How much longer do I need to stay here?” He asked himself. He finally decided to make breakfast since it’s impossible to go back to sleep now. He also had to pick up someone at the airport so he’d better start preparing himself.

I wonder if this will help. He thought.

* * *

Hyde sat on his seat waiting for the plane to takeoff. It’s been tough the past forty-eight hours. His anxiety that people might recognize him grew the moment he stepped into a crowded place. But thankfully, no one has recognized him so far, even the woman sitting beside him on the plane.

It would have been simple to just talk to his manager to cancel the tour without him flying off with no one’s knowledge. But that’s not simple at all. He argued to his own thoughts. It wouldn’t and never it will be easy to cancel the tour especially when his reason is “just being tire”.

A decade of being in the industry has made his life difficult to handle. You can’t do this. You can’t do that. You must appear clean in public. “You have to be,” His manager would remind him every now and then. “You’re not just a musician. You’re a role model and everyone looks up to you with high expectations.” And that put a lot of pressure to him. Even his ten-year relationship with Ken must be hidden from many eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

He closed his eyes and thought of Ken one last time as the plane taxied its way for takeoff.


	3. Cradle

Hyde stood still as he searched for a familiar face in a sea of strange faces of foreigners and locals. Sensing he's not yet at the right place, he walked across the service desk. As he approached the smiling staff, he saw the woman whom he sat beside with on his flight from Germany to Dubai where he transferred planes. He smiled at her then turned to the staff for help. He was given a very short instruction. In fact, the staff only pointed to her left. "Ahh!" He said laughing. "Thank you!"

The airport is small compared to the ones he'd been. He saw a group of people on the side holding out cardboards and paper with printed names on them. He scanned the names.

"PPC Global" wrote one of them. Hmm a group of travelers for business, perhaps. He thought. "Aya Takeshi" He went on scanning. "Mr. Lin Ping", "Andres Mallari", "4D English", "CCI" And then a familiar handwriting stopped him. "RUN AWAY LEGEND!" He waved and saw him pointed to the exit door. He went out of the Greeters Area and gave the man a hug.

"So, is it all over the news?" He asked half-jokingly.

"It's the main headline of every fucking news site!" The man exclaimed laughing.

"But don't worry. You're safe here. This isn't the capital, although you'll see a lot of people, they won't recognize you," He told him trying to put Hyde at ease. He knows how much anxiety he'd gone through for the past few days since he asked his driver to drop him off at a random convenience store on his way to the next tour destination.

As he drives his black Fortuner, he filled in Hyde with the information of the city where he'll be living for the next few days or months depending on Hyde.

"And this island?" Hyde asked referring to the island where he will be taking him.

"That's definitely the most exciting part. You'll love it there!" He assured him.

Hyde not knowing what's going to happen in the next few days leaned against the seat and closed his eyes with a sigh.

The drive back to the apartment was quiet and the whole time. Taka wondered if this dude has awake for the past seventy-two hours. He must have been anxious. After all, this is the first time he will be in this country. His thoughts were cut short by the sight of the familiar street where the apartment is located.

"We're here," he announced, waking the other man up.

"You might find the neighbourhood odd especially the family next door. But other than that, everything else seems to be fine."

He's finally able to talk to him now after the long hour drive.

"I've made a few friends here," he continued as they made their way to the stairs.

Hyde surveyed the place. Nothing really fancy but everything looks refreshing to him.

"I guess this is what you get after a long drive," he said aloud.

"Hm?"

"I think I'm gonna like it here," he smiled.

The air is warm even if it's already early in the evening. His body will eventually adjust to the tropical weather.

"We're leaving for the island in two days, yeah?" He asked.

"Yep! You look excited," Taka answered teasingly.

"It's my first time here. Don't give me that look!" He elbowed Taka lightly as they get inside the little apartment.


	4. Wherever You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Messy has details for Ken. 
> 
> \- Toru had an impossible dream.

Ken was awakened by the ringing of his phone. He usually turns the flight mode on when he goes to bed so as not to be disturbed. But the past couple of days since Hyde's disappearance he intentionally left the ringer on just in case there's an update from Tetsuya. But he's more convinced that he's leaving it on for Hyde's actual call.

"Hello?" He answered groggily without even looking at the caller ID. These days, every phone call matters.

"Ken-san?" It was his personal assistant, Messy.

"What's wrong?" He asked knowing too well that she never calls at wee hours unless it's emergency or needs his urgent attention.

"One of your cards was used to book a flight about two weeks ago," Messy said. Her tone is more excited than worried. She knows this is something that Ken doesn't know. And with the current situation, she could only think of Hyde.

"A flight?" Ken jerked from his bed.

Messy filled him with the information she got from the bank. Hyde knows very well that he cannot use his own personal card if he doesn't want anyone to find where he will be. But what he must have forgotten is that Ken's assistant has access to all accounts including their joint account. He might have intended it so Ken will know where he is or maybe because he doesn't have any other choice.

"Ken-san?" Messy asked when the line fell silent for a few moments.

"Thank you, Messy," Ken replied simply. He'll have to think things through before he makes any move.

"Please email me the records and let's keep it between us at the moment." He knows she won't do anything without his approval, but he still wants to remind her.

"Understood," the woman responded nicely. "And I'm sorry for waking you up at this hour. But I know you've been very worried about him, so I thought this falls in to 'Urgent and Important' category," she said smiling.

"I'm glad you did. Thank you for working on this," He answered, feeling amazed at the effort that Messy has done in this matter.

* * *

Taka was smiling. His eyes shine with pure happiness. His laughter is almost audible. He extended his warm hand as he whispered something. But Toru could not make the words out. The hand he saw holding Taka's was fair and soft compared to his slightly tanned and rough hands. The arms now wrapped Taka in a hug, and he could see that it wasn't really his. The arms are a bit shorter compared to his long arms. And then he heard a voice. It was a very familiar voice telling Taka all the words he couldn't say all these years.

"I love you," the voice was a whisper, but Toru clearly heard it.

Then the images in front of him started to blur. The sounds now muffled. Water. Overhead he saw Taka and Hyde holding hands still smiling at each other. He tried to swim. He paddled but nothing happened. He stayed in the same spot until everything around him went dark. And that's when he forced himself to wake up.

He sat on his bed and checked the time from the modern clock on the wall. The large clock which he and Taka picked up from a shop in London. Putting this enormous clock in the bedroom was a weird decision which they both laughed at.

"We could see how long it usually takes you before you reach your peak!" He winked at Taka when they were setting it up on the wall.

He smiled at that good memory. But he felt his chest tighten when he realized that it was all just a memory, and the dream he just had not long ago felt so real he could still feel the shortness in his breathe.

"That's impossible." He said almost laughing.

"They're a happy couple. Hyde and Ken are happy," he tried to assure himself but he's not quite convinced.

Taka and Hyde have been friends even before Toru met him. Their closeness is more than fellow musicians. But Toru knows there should be a boundary between the two. He could not believe it. He will not believe it. But part of him is no longer sure.


	5. Wherever You Are [insert]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ft. Tetsuya, Yukihiro and Ken

Tetsuya settled himself on the seat two chairs away from the CEO’s. He’s been more anxious since the news was delivered to the Boss. For twenty-five years he’s been in the industry, this is the first time he’d encountered such incident. I will hunt that bastard down and will kill him myself if I ever lose this job. He thought.

He’s been managing Hyde for the past ten years and he’s never been like this before. Ken’s involvement in whatever Hyde’s been secretly going through seems fuzzy. The couple had been together quite long to have known how to handle and settle any disagreements. What might have made him snap like this? He’s already run out of any possibilities.

The door suddenly clicked open and he shot himself up from his seat. He bowed to greet the Boss.

Yukihiro walked across the room without looking at Tetsuya. He sat at the end of the long conference table. His secretary followed silently. He leaned his back against the seat as his secretary placed the files and his laptop on the table.

“Thank you, Sakura,” he said as he motioned the woman to leave the room.

“Updates?” He asked Tetsuya when the door closed.

He’s not a man of many words and his employees know this too well especially Tetsuya who had known him since their university days.

“I’m sorry,” Tetsuya answered. He bowed slowly. “But the team is doing all their best to at least track his whereabouts and confirm his safety,” he assured and hoped this will work with Yukihiro.

“How about my brother?”

“I’ve already called him, but he doesn’t have any updates either,” he answered sounding more gloomy now.

Yukihiro simply looked at him. Their eyes met. He could see his eyes asking many questions in contrast to his own hopeless eyes.

“Be honest,” Yukihiro now leaned on the table. His hands folded together. “Are there any problems?”

“Problems? None,” At least nothing that he could think of. The tour has been going on smoothly. Hyde has not shown any signs of distress.

“I’ll talk to my brother,” Yukihiro finally said sensing this might be a non-work-related issue.

“Let your team continue the search. But I don’t want you to create any fuss about it in public. Not a single soul in the media should know what really is happening,” he said firmly. Now he would need to have a little bit of patience to talk to his brother.

“I still have a job,” Tetsuya thought as he exited the elevator. Here’s to more sleepless nights.

He dialled his wife’s cell phone number to let her know he won’t be home tonight.

“And maybe the next few months until that bastard is found!” He said annoyingly.

* * *

Ken was surprised to see his brother in his office --although he shouldn’t be. He knows exactly why he came to see him.

“Have you guys been fighting lately?”

Ken pondered the question.

“Not that I know of,” he said after a moment.

“Any reason at all that might have made him go off like this?” Yukihiro asked hoping his younger brother will just spill the tea.

“I wish I do,” then he reconsidered his response. But before he could add more Yukihiro began talking.

“I care about Hyde as much as you and anyone else do. And if you’re thinking that questioning you is all about the business, you’re certainly wrong.”

“Am I?” Ken challenged. His relationship with his older brother has always been the most difficult to deal with.

“Think whatever you want to,” Yukihiro said turning away towards the door. “But update me.”

He opened the door, stopped for a moment then considered his final words. But before he could even stop himself, he was already speaking in his usual colder tone.

“Remember, he’s still in-contract with me,” he heard himself saying as he closed the door. But deep inside he’s just really worried about Hyde. He’d come to appreciate his existence in their lives, especially in his brother’s.


	6. What Is Love?

The warm breeze of the night blows softly. The waves touch the shore calmly you can’t almost hear it. Taka was staring blankly at the starry skies when someone sat beside him.

“Beer?”

Taka accepted the bottle of a locally brewed beer without getting up from where was lying.

“Are you still thinking about him?”

“Hm?”

“I mean, do you still love him like you used to?”

This, he had to consider more. He’s still undecided whether he still has the same feelings for Toru.

He was only nineteen and was in the most difficult time of his life when Toru came in and asked him to be in his band. He knows they’ve met before but couldn’t really remember when, where, or who he was. Two years later, their band successfully released their first studio album and have been signed under a well-known record company. And five years ago, something unexpected happened.

On the night after their first Asian tour in Hong Kong, while packing his stuff in the dressing room, Toru came in and without saying a word kissed him on the lips passionately. It shocked him. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t push him away for some reasons. But he didn’t find any courage to return the kiss. He was confused. He knew he likes his company. He likes the feeling when their standing side by side when he’d casually hug him even on stage. But back then, he couldn’t quite put it how he felt for him. He can still remember every detail of that first kiss; his after-shower scent, the taste of the cigarette and gum, even the coldness of his hands that warmed his cheeks.

“I loved him,” Taka said closing his eyes.

“You loved Toru," he said dragging the second word.

“Yeah, I did,” Taka answered sighing.

“But I don’t know anymore, and I don’t know why,” he continued, feeling even more frustrated than before.

* * *

Hyde looked at the vast sky above him. From afar he could see a few twinkling stars. Or are they satellites? He thought.

He smiled. Not because he’s happy but because he’s glad to be here. To be with someone who understands his feelings very well. Maybe the decision to distant from Ken is good. The decision to run away before he could think of something else is better than he expected.

He loves Ken and there’s no doubt about it. But recently he’s been wanting more and less. He wants more from Ken and less from his current life. But knowing what Ken truly desires, he couldn’t find the courage to speak up to anyone else.

Being in a relationship with Ken while his brother is the CEO of the company he’s in contract with has put him in quite a situation. It seems that Ken’s only goal in life is to get away from his eldest brother’s shadow and prove to his parents that he can surpass Yukihiro. Being the boyfriend that he is, he feels that he must help him achieve that by agreeing to finish the renewed contract while Ken is still trying to build a company of his own. He has three more years and he already feels tired. The projects he’s been accepting seems endless; acting here, brand endorsements there -among other smaller projects while touring for his latest album. He’s just exhausted.

“Well, do you still love him?” He heard him asked after a very long silence.

“I do.”

“So, you’re simply taking advantage of me now to take a day off from your life’s drama?”

“You seem to have a lot of time,” Hyde winked at the other man.

“Besides,” he continued. “You’re the only person I could run to.” This is very true. And Ken wouldn’t have any idea unless he already figured out where he is.

“I’ll probably ask for payments,” he teased.

“Name your price.”

“Hah! A kiss will do.”

The two men laughed.


	7. Coming Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde finally decided to call his manager.

Hyde woke up to the dampness of his back. His sweat was unbelievable. He finally realized that the air conditioner was turned off and a fan is barely releasing cool air.

He opened the doors to the balcony. The sun is already glaring with too much brightness it hurt his eyes. The noise of the people mixed with the waves crashing on the shore, some birds chirping nearby, and the leaves being blown by the tropical winds.

He moved back to the bed and checked his phone.

"Eleven-thirty," he exclaimed.

He couldn't believe he slept until midday. And although he's used to sleeping late, his body clock is usually set to wake up at five in the morning. This would have sent Tet-chan in panic. He thought.

Now remembering his manager, he felt a pang of guilt rising within him. He should not have done this to Tet-chan who endures a lot of pain and take risks for him. He loves Tet-chan like his older brother even if he's a year younger than him.

"Should I call him?" He asked over lunch.

"In my opinion, you should at least let him know you're safe," the other man replied.

"Okay."

Later that afternoon, Hyde finally decided to give Tetsuya a call on his newly acquired prepaid local number.

"Tet-chan," he began when he heard him on the line.

"Hyde!" He heard the younger man exclaimed in either shock or anger- or both.

Tetsuya was still processing his thoughts when Hyde started talking without letting him say another word.

"Sooner or later Ken will find out," Hyde was saying.

"How?" He asked in confusion. If no other soul knows about his whereabouts, how would Ken know?

"I used our joint account for my tickets."

"That ass-"

"He already found out," Hyde said flatly without letting the other man finish.

By now, Ken would have probably called his secretary to book him a flight or has called someone to search for him.

"When do you plan of coming back?" Tetsuya felt he needed to ask this.

"Once I figured things out."

"Do you want me to-"

"No, Tet-chan. I'd like to clear things on my own. This is just about me."

"Alright, then," Tetsuya responded understanding and respecting Hyde's decision. All his frustration and anger towards the man fading.

"I'm sorry, Tet-chan. I really am."

"I'll kill you when you get back. For now, I'm just glad you're safe."

Ken check his watch. Two more hours before his estimated arrival time. He didn't think about something else aside from booking the next available flight. Now he's no longer sure how Hyde will take this. Will he be glad to see me? He has imagined all the possibilities that he knows could happen and his anxiety is building up.

He received Messy's message before his flight and it didn't look good. The only person he knows who might be in the same country where Hyde is could not be reached. He knows Hyde will not go to an unfamiliar country without knowing a single soul there.

"God, I love him so much. Please let him be safe."


	8. Stuck in the Middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \+ new characters: Gackt and Hiro. 
> 
> \+ giving Taka some angst - or so I hope. :)

Hyde spent almost the entire day at the beach. Strangely, he feels lighter now that he's told Tetsuya about his dramatic escape. The sky has now turned to orange. It's beauty mesmerized him he had to smile.   
  
"Beautiful, isn't it?" A woman's voice came beside him. He turned to face her.  
  
"Stephanie," she said extending her hand.   
  
Hyde shook her hand without saying anything. She was the same woman he sat with on the plane from Germany to Dubai.   
  
"Here for a vacation too?" He asked.  
  
She looked almost the same as the local women he'd seen but most Asians look similar.   
  
"Yes. So are you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
For some reasons, he felt good talking to a stranger- one of the things he misses the most in his current life. The growth of his popularity has tightened his security. He couldn't even go to the toilet without being followed by at least two bodyguards. The sense of freedom he has now is making his heart happy he wants to cry. 

"Are you okay?" He heard her asked.

He smiled again. 

\---

At dinner, they went to a seafood restaurant and saw her again. He gave her a nod as a courtesy. She walked towards them and introduced herself. 

"Just in case you forgot," she said winking at Hyde. 

"Oh, so my dear Hyde has met a woman," the other man teased as he shook Stephanie's hand.

"Gackt," he said introducing his name. 

"Are you from around here?" he asked.  
  
"By blood, yes. Lived my life in Germany but knows a little of the dialect."  
  
"That's very interesting," Gackt found himself saying which also surprised him a little. Usually, he turns every small talk with strangers away.  
  
"Care for a drink later?" He asked.   
  
"That'd be great. I've heard of a good place."  
  
"Cool."  
  
Hyde listened as the two people exchange conversation. He finds it odd that Gackt seems to enjoy the small talk and will most likely enjoy some more later.   
  
"She looks and sounds interesting," Gackt said over dinner.  
  
"You're hitting on women again," He said rolling his eyes to tease his friend.  
  
"Come on, don't be jealous."

* * *

  
"Nee-chan," he heard Hiro calling for him from behind. His younger brother moved next to him in the balcony where Taka had been staying for hours since that morning.   
  
"I'm sorry," he looked at his brother. "I'm supposed to show you around, am I?"   
  
It's their third day on the island but they haven't done much except swimming and walking around the resort. Pete told him that the island, despite its size, houses about five hundred locals and about a thousand tourists every year. And they haven't explored it.   
  
"It's okay," Hiro smiled at his brother. Now standing across his brother, he understands Taka's need for silence and more time alone to think more about his life.   
  
"I love him," Taka said, almost sighing. His eyes not taking off from the vast ocean in front of him. It's a cloudy day hence, the warmness of the air that touches his face and body.   
  
"But not the same as before," he finished after about a few moments.   
  
"Did you overgrow Toru nee-chan?" The younger asked out of curiosity. His brother's relationship with his bandmate was never a secret. Both of their families blessed it and the public approved it. Despite the relationship being out there, he could not remember a single issue or rumour about the two. It seems like the relationship is almost perfect. So maybe having this kind of relationship isn't good after all. He thought to himself as he looked at his brother's gloomy face.   
  
"Probably," he heard him replied.   
  
"We've been together for a very long time and I guess being with him has somehow restrained my other potentials as a person."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I don't know," Taka found himself saying. It's been very tough and confusing in the past two years. Maybe Hiro is right. Maybe he just outgrew Toru.   
  
"Nee-chan," Hiro started as he walked closer to his brother.   
  
"I'm not the one to tell you things but please give yourself more time. Don't overwork and push yourself."  
  
Taka smiled at his younger brother. Hiro may still be young for this kind of situation but his presence helps him calm a bit more.   
  
"I knew I can always rely on you," he smiled.   
  
Hiro gave him a brief tight hug before leaving him.   
  
"I'll just walk around the resort," he announced to his brother.   
  
"Have fun... and don't start flirting with girls," Taka teased.


	9. Cry Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \+ Toru's POV with some angst featuring a yelling Ryota.

_I love you... I miss you so much it kills me... I need you back. How can I win you over? Have I been too much? Did I do anything wrong? Weren't you yourself being with me? Will I still be part of your future? It's not fair. You're unfair! How can you leave me like this? We were happy, aren't we? We were doing fine but why?_

These are the scattered thoughts that Toru wants to scream out of his heart at the top of his lungs for Taka to hear wherever in the world he might be. 

Toru brought the glass to his mouth and realized he'd run out of whisky. He tipped the glass to his mouth as he tasted the last drop of alcohol. Tottering himself up the couch to get another bottle of whisky, he fell on the floor. He tried standing up pushing an arm against the carpet but his dizziness has gotten into his body he fell out of balance. Giving up, he lied on the floor with his face on the soft carpet. He started crying. At first softly and then unable to bear the pain in his chest he started bawling helplessly. No words coming out of his mouth. His head is full of images of Taka and what are now bittersweet memories from when they were still happily together. 

_Happy? Was he even happy being with me?_ He thought, letting another cry out. 

\---

Toru found himself waking up in the living room the next day. How did he even sleep on the floor without any troubles?

_Thank goodness for the soft carpet!_

He sat himself up leaning against the couch. Two empty bottles of whisky, too many cigarette buts, the ashtray overflowing, a lighter, some paper among other small items he couldn't recall bringing over scattered all on the table. He saw the glass on the floor just beside where he was lying. 

He found himself amazed at how much alcohol he consumed last night. The last time he got really drunk he wasn't aware of the events was when a girl dumped him in public. He has no memory of that time and even his friends refused to tell a single story.

His phone rang. He looked around and found it on the other end of the couch. Reaching for the phone he saw Ryota's caller ID. Did he miss anything today? He tried remembering his schedule as he puts the phone on his ear. 

"Dumbass! What were you even thinking?" Came Ryota's angry voice on the line.

"Huh?" Toru only said scratching his neck. 

"Mother fucker, guess who's on the headline today?"

"Uhm, who?" 

To be honest, he doesn't have a single interest of whoever or whatever it is on the news today. 

"You, stupid ass," Ryota yelled. Toru had to take the phone a little far from his ear. Ryota's anger is indescribable.

"Why would I be?" He asked not feeling anything. He's been staying at home for the past three weeks and perhaps, the fans have been a little worried and tried doing something stupid to call his attention. 

"Hah, I knew it! From the looks of it, you were drunk last night," Ryota said sarcastically laughing. 

This confused Toru.

"How-"

"You were drunk tweeting your pathetic ass in the middle of the night! Did you even know that?

"What?"

He pressed the home button of his phone and opened the app. The notifications came to life and they're blowing his phone up. He checked his profile and saw the recent tweet.

"I love you..." was the first. He stared in horror at the blue link below stating it's a whole ass thread. He tweeted almost all of his thoughts last night.

"Heeeey!" He heard Ryota shriek on the other line. He slid the screen down and pressed on the speaker mode. 

"I-"

"You don't remember doing it. Yeah, yeah. I get it," Ryota said with a knowing tone. He knows his friend well enough to know that the man does not remember anything when he's drunk. But what was he even thinking?

" I don't know. I just want to-"

"You just want to be heard... by the public?" He cut his friend off again. 

"No, of course not," Toru sounded defensive even to himself. Although part of him wished that the universe will do something for Taka to hear him. 

"Can I still delete this?" He asked feeling rather ashamed now. 

"Sure you can. But too late, it's already on the headline of every fucking site and oh, look, even on the newspaper!"

"And now," Ryota continued when Toru didn't respond. "Hashtags HugToru and TakaPlease are at the second and third spots on Worldwide trends! Just a little more fuel and you'll eventually take over the number one spot."

"I'm-"

"Yeah, go, repent," Ryota cut him off once again. 

"But please if you're going to do something stupid, invite us over. Would be happy to leave Mish for a little while for my miserable friend."

"Don't isolate yourself there. Come over!" He heard a woman's voice from the other end. 

* * *

_That boy needs help._

Ken thought as he walked out of the terrace to the garden facing the beach. Seeing Toru's tweets has made him feel sympathetic to the young man. They're probably walking on the same road now. 

"Ken-chan?"

"Good afternoon, Steph," he smiled at the woman.

"How's your sleep?" 

"Hmmm," Ken replied closing his eyes while smiling.

"Glad to know that."

"How's Gackt?"

"Are you really asking about Gackt?" She asked back teasing the older man.

"Well... isn't he a fine man?"

"He's a total..." Stephanie put her hands up letting the gesture say the last word.

Ken laughed at this. Gackt sure is a good looking man who can attract both genders but Stephanie isn't among those folks. 

Nor Gackt is romantically or sexually interested in her. The two had to put on a show to hide Ken's presence on the island while bringing Hyde closer to him. 

When Gackt received his email, he replied to it immediately. He didn't intend to let Ken know exactly where they are or what they're going to do. He just wanted to put Ken at ease. Unfortunately, the other man is dying to see Hyde's safety with his own two eyes. 

"He doesn't trust me. That asshole!" Gackt laughed.

How did Stephanie even get in the picture, Gackt has no idea. The woman seemed unrelated to either Ken or his assistant. 


	10. Spiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyde saw Ken. But was it an image from the heart? Or did he really see Ken with another woman?

Hyde spent most of his mornings surfing for the past four days they've been on the island. Now strolling at the beach while waiting for the sun to set, he felt the warm breeze on his face and the fine sand in between his toes. He smiled at the sky that's turning into gradient yellow and orange. He could hear the soft waves and the humming of the birds from the distant. He felt a rock under his feet. 

"Ahhh," he said, realizing he'd reached an edge of the island. 

He stopped for a moment wondering if he should continue to walk to the other side of the island or turn back to their resort. He's quite nervous to do the first idea though. He decided to turn back. But as he did so, he saw a very familiar person standing not too far away from him. 

Hyde felt his heart skipped a beat as he let out a sound of surprise. He felt his eyes burning, his body shaking. He took a step forward and was ready to run away when he heard a woman.

Ken turned to the young woman and smiled at her. Hyde felt his chest tighten when Ken held her hand. The sight was too painful he couldn't hold his tears back. Ken seemed to be laughing as he walked with her.

_ This is unreal. I am hallucinating. I am not looking at the man I love.  _

But despite trying his best to convince himself, he prays for Ken to turn towards him. But Ken didn't. He disappeared to the white fences with the woman, still holding hands. 

"You think you saw who?" Gackt asked in surprise. Despite his knowledge about Ken's presence on the island, he was partially surprised to know that Hyde saw him. This wasn't planned at all. But the island being small, he could make sense of it.

That night Hyde was highly emotional that Gackt gave up controlling his alcohol consumption. 

"If it makes you feel better tomorrow, fine," he said putting his hands up in surrender. 

Once he finally settled Hyde in his room, he called Ken. 

"Gackt," came Ken's voice. Obviously, he woke him up. 

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"It's okay. Is everything ok?" Ken got up from the bed and walked to the balcony facing the beach. The air is cool his shirtless body is liking it. He might decide to keep the doors open. 

"He believes he saw you at the beach earlier," Gackt filled him in with what Hyde has been babbling over and over since dinner until he got drunk.

Ken tried remembering the events of that late afternoon.

"I thought it was just an image from the heart," he said finally remembering seeing someone very familiar. 

"Ken-san," Gackt started as he took a deep breath hoping for what he's about to say will be something of help. "I think it's time for you guys to talk. There's no need to delay it and wait for you to be back home."

Ken was silent for a few moments that Gackt had to close his eyes partially regretting the supposed to be advice he just gave. 

"I'll come over breakfast," Ken finally replied. 

\---

The warmth of the early morning sun touches his face. The wind blows softly but the waves crash violently on the shore. Hyde sat on the table at the resto's balcony avoiding the stare of the man in front of him. He barely touched the food. Gackt has long been gone since Ken's arrival. _That asshole knows Ken has been on the island the past few days and didn't even say a word to him._ But will it make any difference? What would he do if he knew from the beginning that Ken was on the island? 

"I'm sorry," were the final words that came out of his mouth after telling Ken everything that he wanted him to hear. He couldn't think of anything else to say. He's been feeling apologetic- that's all. 

"I..." Ken stuttered, "I'm sorry." He doesn't know what else to say. He's never heard of Hyde talked or complained about their relationship. About his attitude towards his family. About his struggles of being in a relationship with him while working for his brother. But had he known all these, what could've been done? What could've happened? He has no idea. But all these years, Hyde never openly spoke to him about these and he doesn't know whether he'll be angry at Hyde for keeping it all to himself or should he blame his self for being selfish? 

Tears start forming in his eyes. He's frustrated but he doesn't know exactly about what or who. Is he frustrated at Hyde? At the situation? At his brother? At his father who never trusted him? Or is he disappointed at himself? He smiled and looked at the beach to avoid the tears from coming out. Swallowing the lump in his throat he started tapping his fingers on the table. 

Hyde looked at Ken and felt even more apologetic. He opened his lips to say something, but his head is empty of any words. 

"When are you coming back?" Ken finally asked. 

"I don't know," he answered looking on the unfinished food. He has lost his appetite. 

"Have you asked Tetsuya? Maybe he could help clear your plans."

Ken's sudden change of tone surprised Hyde. It's supposed to be normal. Ken is good at doing this; switching his tone from personal to business. And it never surprised him until now. 

Ken saw how his last few words affected Hyde. 

"I don't know how to help you. So, I guess it's only best to ask your Manager. We..." he paused and realized that this isn't about him now. "You," he continued, "can't afford to breach your contract. You know my brother very well."

Hyde looked at Ken. His brows furrowed. He's annoyed. Now he's annoyed at Ken. He drew a deep breath while biting his lower lip. He stood up and left the table without saying another word. 

Ken felt stupid. He could have just shut the idea out.


End file.
